Prob'ly Wouldn't Be This Way
by Nari Crow
Summary: Rose is trying to get along without the Doctor in her life, but is it possible for her to forget him? Oneshot, possibly twoshot, songfic with LeAnn Rimes' Probably Wouldn't Be This Way.
1. Chapter 1

A/N: This is my first Doctor Who fic, so I hope you like it. I have only seen the first half of "The Runaway Bride," so I didn't go into detail with that. There is an OC in this oneshot, but not one that plays a particularly major role, but is still important. It's based after Doomsday. Also, this was made in a hurry, so feel free to point out mistakes.

I might make a follow-up chapter, but it would have a twist in it involving my own characters, so maybe I won't. It depends on how this one plays out.

Well, on with the story.

Disclaimer: I do not own Doctor Who, nor do I own LeAnn Rimes' song.

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Prob'ly Wouldn't Be This Way

_Got a date a week from Friday with the preacher's son_

_Everybody says he's crazy_

_I'll have to see._

Rose walked into the white room that used to be used for the Ghost Watch in our dimension, but the dimension she lived in now used it for pretty much nothing. She held a brown paper bag loosely in her hand, and her head was down. She walked straight to the white-washed wall on the far end, and sat down in front of a gray, medium-sized stone. 'The Doctor,' it said. 'Not dead and not forgotten.' Rose found it ironic that a tombstone said 'not dead' on it, but it was true.

"Hello, then," she said at an attempt of cheerfulness, pulling an apple out of the paper bag. She bit into it. "I've been busy this week, would you believe it? I'm getting back into a routine. Even thinking about joining up with this dimension's Torchwood, 'cuz it's so much nicer than the one you and I knew." Her voice had faltered at 'you,' but she had continued.

"There's a boy that I'm supposed to meet," she said, leaning closer to the stone. "He's a teenager, about fourteen, yeah? And he's the preacher's son at Mum's church. Mum says he's been acting strange lately, and she knows how good I am with kids. I'm going to go talk to him a week from Friday, to see what's wrong with him. Everybody says he's crazy, you see."

She looked from the stone to the white-washed wall, and her eyes expectedly filled with tears. She was actually surprised that she had made it this long without crying, since usually she didn't even get through her daily thoughts before breaking down. Thoughts of the Doctor ran through her mind, and she pulled her knees up to her chest, trying to stop the flood of sadness. Rose was furious with herself for being so weak, but she couldn't help it. She just missed the Doctor _so much_. She had thought she might be able to move on, but it was proving to be harder than she had expected.

"Doctor," she whispered hoarsely into her knees, dashing away her tears. She heard voices outside the door, but they didn't come in. They never did, or at least, they never did when she was in that room. It was her room, or Rose's Room, as some employees had taken to calling it. It was where she came to remember the Doctor.

_I finally moved to Jackson when the summer came_

_I won't have to pay that boy to rake my leaves._

_I'm probably going on and on_

_It seems I'm doing more of that these days._

With a supreme effort, Rose put her knees down and wiped her eyes, attempting a watery smile. "Sorry about that," she said to the tombstone, letting out a choking, sobbing laugh. After a few minutes she had composed herself, and began speaking again.

"I finally moved out of Mum and Dad's place, and I've got my own apartment," she said. "It's summertime now, and it's good I moved now, 'cuz that means I won't have to pay that boy to rake my leaves when fall comes." She began chattering, describing her new apartment.

"Oh, I'm just going on and on, what's happened to the time?" she exclaimed, looking at her watch. Rose stood up, her unfinished lunch in her hand. "I seem to be doing more of that these days," she said, a tremble in her voice.

As she walked away, she recalled how the Doctor had taken to rambling after he'd regenerated. He would spend hours just talking to her about everything under the sun, and she would sit at him and smile and shake her head at his enthusiasm for this that and the other.

Rose bit her lip and looked away from the wall, any trace of a smile gone. She left the room quickly, shutting the door behind her, before she could cry again.

_I probably wouldn't be this way,_

_I probably wouldn't hurt so bad,_

_I never pictured every minute without you in it,_

_Oh you left so fast._

_Sometimes I see you standing there,_

_Sometimes it's like I'm losing touch,_

_Sometimes I feel that I'm so lucky to have had the chance to_

_Love this much._

_God gave me a moment's grace,_

_'Cause if I'd never seen your face_

_I probably wouldn't be this way._

Rose shut the door to her new apartment and put her backpack on the bed. She had done as she'd told the Doctor, and she'd joined up with Torchwood on the very same day, after lunch.

She felt her throat close up as she remembered the very last time she had seen the Doctor, and shook herself impatiently. Turning on the radio, she almost jumped when she heard a lonely, saddened voice singing the words in her soul. It was LeAnn Rimes, singing "Probably Wouldn't Be This Way." Rose took a sharp breath; it described her too perfectly to be coincidence.

She felt dizzy for a moment, and the table lurched. She hit her knee on the table's corner and let out a sharp cry, falling to the ground. The Doctor's face swam into her watering view, and she let out another cry, this one of sadness, not pain.

"Love hurts," she said through clenched teeth to herself, listening to LeAnn Rimes' chorus. "You're not the only one with pain." Still, it felt that way sometimes.

_Mama says that I just shouldn't speak to you,_

_Susan says that I should just move on._

_You oughta see the way these people look at me_

_When they see me 'round here talking to this stone,_

_Everybody thinks I've lost my mind_

_But I just take it day by day._

Rose walked into the house she used to live in cautiously. It had been two months since she had joined Torchwood, but her mom seemed to think she was still mourning. Probably because she still went to the room every day. Her mother had taken to ambushing her and pouncing on her with kind words and a baked cake. Rose didn't want her mom's sympathy; she wanted to feel normal again.

"Hello?" Rose called. "Mum?" She walked through Pete's mansion with some trepidation, wondering what wide-smiling wonder lay in wait around the next corner.

"Oh, hi, dearie!" Jackie called cheerfully. "I'm in the kitchen!"

Rose made her way to the kitchen, smiling in spite of herself. Jackie had settled in pretty quickly to this dimension, and was living with her once dead husband, a relationship that had started out as very odd and ended up as very right.

Jackie was rolling some dough, up to her elbows in flour. Flour was spotting her face, and her loosely tied hair. "Well, there you are," she said, smiling. "I was thinkin' you maybe got lost!"

Rose chuckled. "It is a big place," she admitted.

They exchanged some small talk, but Rose could tell that Jackie wanted to get to the main point. Sure enough, about ten minutes in, Jackie brought up what she had wanted to talk about.

"I don't know why you're still talking to that tombstone," she commented. "It's just not healthy."

Rose stiffened. "Mum," she sighed, recognizing the beginning of the argument.

"Now, just hear me out, hon," Jackie said, pulling her hands out of the dough. "You've been mooning over that man long enough, and it's time you got over him. Mickey's still here, and he's been waiting for you to come to your senses. I know you loved him, but it's time to see common sense, and -,"

"I know, Mum," Rose interrupted. "Susan says the same thing." Susan was a friend Rose had made at Torchwood, and she, along with Mickey, often accompanied Rose on missions. Rose had no idea what Jackie was talking about, because Mickey had shown no interest in being her boyfriend again, or anything more than a friend. They had become good friends again, and Rose appreciated that.

"Yes, but still -," Jackie began again, only to be interrupted for a second time.

"Jackie, I think you should let Rose decide for herself," Pete said, walking into the kitchen.

"But -," Jackie protested.

"Mum, I'm getting by, honest," Rose insisted. "Actually, I have to go do some paperwork for work, and it's due tomorrow. I'd best get to it, seeing as I haven't even started and it's as thick as a textbook." She hugged her mother, being careful of the flour, and gave Pete a hug as well.

As she left, Rose caught that glance that Pete and Jackie exchanged. She had seen that glance before, from people that knew what had really happened. It was a glance that said, 'She's lost her mind, she's not with it. We need to help her.' She remembered the hours in the room, listening to people whisper behind the door. She remembered someone telling a newcomer, "That's Rose's Room. You don't go in there. Ever." She had seen the way people looked at her.

Everybody thought she'd lost her mind, but she was just adjusting. Remembering a line from LeAnn Rimes' song, she smiled and sang out loud, "I just take it day by day."

She skipped down the sidewalk for a while, and looked into the brilliant blue sky, knowing fully well that a hundred thousand million other planets existed out there, and twice as many with life on them. She wondered what the Doctor was doing now, and if he even missed her.

_I probably wouldn't be this way,_

_I probably wouldn't hurt so bad,_

_I never pictured every minute without you in it,_

_Oh you left so fast._

_Sometimes I see you standing there,_

_Sometimes I feel an angel's touch,_

_Sometimes I feel that I'm so lucky to have had the chance to_

_Love this much._

_God gave me a moment's grace,_

_'Cause if I'd never seen your face,_

_I probably wouldn't be this way._

The Doctor sat with his feet up, glancing at the jacket Rose had left behind. Donna had picked it up and mentioned it before, and hadn't so much as noticed the pain in his eyes. At least, not at first. The Doctor was glad to have helped her, but now that it was through he was back to drifting through space, his heart aching and breaking a million times over.

The Tardis groaned worriedly, concerned for the Time Lord. The Doctor opened his eyes, not having noticed he closed them in the first place. He gave her a reassuring pat and set the time and place for 2096 on a far-away planet. Far from Earth, far from the temptation to try and get Rose back, though he knew that making such a big change in the past would not work.

He opened the door and walked into a busy spacecraft market. People, not just humans, but people of every shape and size, were shouting out bargains and haggling prices. The Doctor smiled. This was perfect to take him away from his pain.

As he walked along, he bumped into a young boy. "I'm sorry," he said automatically.

"It's all right," the boy started to say, but he froze mid-sentence, staring at the Doctor's face. His golden-hazel eyes grew wide, and he stopped walking.

"What?" the Doctor asked. "Is there something in my teeth?" He bared his teeth, scratching at them with a fingernail.

"Why are you hiding your sorrow?" the boy asked flatly, his eyes flashing to a brighter gold hue, with less hazel and more yellow.

The Doctor looked at the boy. "You're a psychic, aren't you?" he asked quietly, looking the boy over.

He shrugged. "You could say that," the boy said evasively.

The Doctor stared at his face for a while longer, his eyes searching. "Well, it's none of your business anyway," he finally said, his voice brisk.

"You think you're the only one with sadness in your heart?" the boy asked raggedly, his voice raw with withheld emotion. "You think you're the only one with a piece of your heart missing?"

The Doctor blinked, and looked closer. Though the boy's eyes were now one hundred percent gold, they were not bright. In fact, they had the same dead, empty look that the Doctor saw in his eyes more and more these days.

"But we can't give up hope," the boy said quietly, looking the Doctor in the eye. "No, giving up isn't even an option. What do we do? We keep looking. No matter what."

The boy turned to leave. Then he turned back. "You'll find her," he said, and then he left.

The Doctor stared after the young boy, whose name he didn't even know. The boy had said it with such conviction, he found himself half-believing it. It would be so easy to fall into despair, to never get out of bed. But then Rose would stay gone forever.

Feeling better than he had in weeks, the Doctor headed back to the Tardis with a smile on his face and a bounce in his step.

_I'll find her._

_I probably wouldn't be this way._

_Got a date a week from Friday with a preacher's son_

_Everybody says I'm crazy_

_Guess I'll have to see._

Rose knocked on the preacher's door hesitantly. It opened almost immediately, and Rose was face to face with the preacher. He looked different than he did at church, without all of his fancy clothes. He looked relieved and gave Rose a big smile.

"Please, come in," he said.

Rose walked through the door and let him lead her into the kitchen. "Your boy, his name is Jason, right?" she asked, looking at the nice furnishings with a slight interest.

"Yes," the preacher replied. "I'll just call him, I don't think he was expecting you." He turned and hollered up the stairs, "Jason!"

He turned back to Rose. "I'll just leave you two," he said hastily, leaving before Rose could react.

"The nerve," she said to no one in particular, waiting for Jason to appear.

He did show up, hopping down the stairs. Literally hopping, bouncing on both feet like a rabbit. He bounced across the floor and stopped a few feet from Rose, bouncing very high a few times before moving down to bouncing on one foot, then the other, and finally he was standing still.

"Hello," he said.

"Hello," Rose said. "My name is Rose."

"My name is Jason," he replied. "My friend wants to meet you."

Rose looked confused. "Who's your friend?" she asked, trying to be friendly.

"She sees in the darkness between dimensions," he said vaguely, walking to the back door. Rose followed, her brow furrowed. What did this boy mean?

He led her into the woods. "Where are we going, Jason?" Rose asked cautiously.

"To the place where the sidewalk ends," he said. Rose was beginning to see why people said he was crazy. But then, people said she was crazy, too.

They reached a clearing in the woods. Jason spun on the spot, hopping on one foot in a circle. "Little bunny foo-foo," he crooned, raising his hands into the air.

A girl's laugh was heard. Rose turned and saw a girl who seemed to be about fifteen, with long black hair and green and hazel eyes. "Jason, you're a unique comedian," the girl giggled. She looked at Rose, and her eyes flashed a brighter green, with less hazel and more vividness.

"You are searching for the missing piece of your heart," the girl accused.

"What are you, psychic or something?" Rose retorted, scrambling at her defenses. With so few words, the girl had broken down her tentative happiness.

"So am I," the girl said, sighing quietly. "_Boys_," she said, making the word accusatory, "_boys_ are always running off, and leaving us behind." The girl's eyes grew brighter, now completely without hazel.

Rose held her breath, hardly daring to hope. "We'll find them," the girl said, with absolute certainty. Rose felt hope surge dizzily in her chest. Dare she . . .?

"Yes," she said firmly, fully aware that she was condemning herself to a lifetime of searching and wandering.

_I'll find him._


	2. Epilogue

Rose looked at the girl, who was staring at her intensely, then she looked at Jason, who was now skipping to a large rock in the middle of the clearing and sitting down.

"Who are you?" Rose asked. "Why do you know all of this?"

"I'm a psychic," the girl replied. "My name is Erin." Erin looked down. "I'm looking for my best friend in the world."

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"Wait!" The boy turned around, to see the Doctor running to catch up with him. "Would you like to come to my ship?"

The boy looked at the Doctor, as if unsure whether or not it was a trap. "I suppose," he said hesitantly.

The Doctor grinned. "Well, then, let's get going," he said, leading the boy towards the corner where he had parked the Tardis.

"What did you say your name was?" the Doctor asked the boy.

"I didn't, but it's Eric," he replied, half-smiling. "I'm looking for my best friend in the world."

The Doctor said quietly, "You could say the same about me."

"I think you feel more for her than simply best friend," Eric drawled. "Shall we go to your ship? Then I'll explain."

The Doctor shrugged; he had nothing else to do and this boy could offer him some hope. He turned on one foot and began walking briskly towards the Tardis. Eric half-jogged to catch up, because the Doctor's legs were much longer than his.

Eric's eyes widened when he saw the Tardis. "An old phone booth?" he scoffed. "Really?"

"It's bigger on the inside," the Doctor retorted, stung. He opened the door and gestured for Eric to go first. Eric walked through, froze, and his jaw dropped.

"Wow," he said, observing all of the buttons and switches on the Tardis. "Nice rig," he said enviously.

The Doctor smiled to himself and sat down, patting the ground next to him. Eric sat down as well. "Now, you said you would explain," the Doctor said, trailing off.

Eric sighed. "Right," he said. "It's a long story."

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"Well, where is he?" Rose asked the girl. They had sat down on the large rock in the middle of the clearing, and Jason was now circling them happily, dancing small patterns in the grass.

"I don't know," Erin replied sadly. "I can't find him, so he must be very far away. You see, we were on a nearby planet, and we were helping out this small nation of shapeshifters. But then their enemy attacked, and we were separated. There was so much smoke, so much fire. . . ." She looked down again, trailing off as her mind replayed images of that day. "I didn't know what to do. A shapeshifter friend, she helped me get away, but there was a loud boom as soon as we left the city. Eric could've still been in there . . .," she stopped, her throat closed up.

Rose pulled the young psychic into a hug. "Wouldn't you be able to tell if he's dead?" she said comfortingly.

Erin wiped her eyes, sniffling slightly. "That's just it, I don't know," she admitted. "I can't even get a dim contact with him, but my heart says he's still alive." Erin looked up. "And my heart says the same thing about your missing friend."

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"So you two were separated by the blast, right?" the Doctor asked Eric.

Eric nodded. "That's the long and short of it," he said, trying to smile and failing. "I know she's still alive, I know it, but it's so hard when you can't even find them. . . ."

The Doctor nodded. "Yeah, I know that feeling," he said, his eyes dark.

Eric perked up. "But maybe there's a way I can help you," he said.

The Doctor nearly fell out of his chair. "How!?"

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"What? You can help me find the Doctor!?" Rose nearly fell off the rock.

Erin smirked. "Maybe," she said, fiddling with her jacket's buttons. "It depends. Do you really love him?"

"More than anything," Rose replied without hesitation.

Erin seemed even more hesitant. "And he's the one thing you want to find more than anything else in this world?"

"Yes, of course!"

"Well . . . I could use your connection with him, and trace it back to the Doctor. If he feels the same way."

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"Of course I love her!" the Doctor exclaimed. "I burned out a sun just to get the chance to say that, and I didn't even finish my sentence! Come on, man, spit it out!"

"Well . . . if she feels the same way, I can trace the connection back to her."

"Of course she does!" the Doctor said, his eyes wide with excitement.

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"I am one hundred percent sure that the Doctor feels the same way," Rose declared.

"Okay, then," Erin said, reassured by Rose's unhesitating declaration. She closed her eyes.

---------------------------------

"Well, I'll give it a shot," Eric said, closing his eyes.

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Two pairs of eyes, a dimension apart, snapped open simultaneously. One set glowed bright green, and the other a warm, liquid gold. Two flaring patches of spiritual light reached out from the eyes, and latched onto a rosy-pink cord, stretched impossibly thin. Wrapping themselves around the cord, the two patches began to make their way to one another.

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The Doctor waved his hand in front of Eric's blank, glowing eyes. He got no reaction, not so much as a flicker. It seemed Eric was staring _past_ their dimension and into the next. Fascinating!

Eric's eyes flared brighter, and the Doctor's sensitivity to psychic energy allowed him to glimpse two flares of light, one green and one gold, meeting one another in a spectacular burst of color, before he was pulled into a complete and utter darkness.

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Rose was floating in some incredibly dark material. It was like space, but she shouldn't be able to survive in space, right?

_Eric! _The loud cry rang through her entire body. She ordered her body to move to the source of the sound, and found two bright patches of light. As she grew closer, they formed into two vaguely human-shaped bodies, glowing bright green and gold.

_Erin! You're alive! _This cry was in an unfamiliar voice, a boy's voice, and he had an incredible amount of relief in his voice.

_Where is this place? _another voice wondered. A familiar voice, a painfully familiar voice. Rose looked off to the side of the glowing shapes and saw a painfully familiar person. Oh, God no.

Praying with all her might that this wasn't an illusion, Rose shouted out in her mind one word: _Doctor!_

The Doctor turned. _Rose!_ His voice was full of disbelief and shock. He swam through the non-space to reach her. Their outstretched fingers connected – and _went right through each other._

_What's going on? _Rose cried.

The golden shape swam over. _This is the space between dimensions, _he said as the green person followed him. _You can't touch one another here, because you aren't actually here._

Rose almost cried. _Doctor, _she said again, putting all the emotions she'd been having over the past few months into that one word.

_Rose, _he replied with equal force. _Before anything else interrupts us, I have to say what I should have said at Bad Wolf Bay. Rose Tyler, I love you._

_I love you, too, _she said, near tears.

The green shape drew closer to her. _Rose, I can't hold this connection for long,_ Erin said, her worried face forming on the light. _We have to go back._

_Same here, Doctor, _Eric said to the Doctor. _I'm going to be in bed for a long time as it is._

_I'll keep searching for a way, Doctor, _Rose promised.

_So will I,_ he replied. _I've got a long life ahead of me, and I'll spend all of it searching, if I must._

_This isn't goodbye, _Rose protested.

The Doctor paused. _No, it's not,_ he agreed. _Then, I'll see you soon?_

_As soon as possible, _she promised as they were drawn further and further apart, back to their own dimensions. Rose heard Erin and Eric calling their own goodbyes to one another, but she barely heard it. She had spoken with the Doctor, and he had finished the sentence he'd begun at Bad Wolf Bay.

She smiled as the world reformed around her.

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"This is great, ecstatic, wonderful, fantastic!" Eric gushed, spinning dizzily around the Tardis. "Erin's alive!" he shouted at the top of his lungs.

The Doctor smiled at Eric. "So, where will you go?" he asked. "You're welcome to stay with me for a while."

Eric shook his head. "No thanks, Doctor," he replied. "I know what I need to do. I'll be seeing you, Doctor." He walked out of the Tardis door, still whistling happily.

The Doctor smiled after the young psychic. 'Good luck, kid,' he thought. 'I hope you find her.'

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"This is amazing, awesome, magnificent, extraordinary!" Erin enthused.

"Why's it so great?" Rose asked skeptically, though she was smiling.

"If Eric's in your dimension, that means there are still other ways to go between dimensions! We just have to find them!"

Rose drew in her breath sharply. She hadn't given that a thought.

Erin waved goodbye to Rose. "I've got to go, I've got an idea for finding Eric. I'll call and let you know if I find anything out." She turned to Jason. "You want to help me in my quest for the ultimate?" she asked him.

"Yeah!" he said, following her into the woods.

Rose looked at the spot where the two teens had disappeared, and smiled to herself. So she could find the Doctor, eh? She would have to get ready, then. _Find a way to cross the dimensions after getting ready to leave this one,_ her mind advised her.

The first thing to go, she decided, would be the tombstone. It was a sign of defeat, a sign that she had given up on getting the Doctor back. Besides, what would he think if she told her they had given him a tombstone?

After all, you don't bury survivors.

Grinning widely, Rose left the clearing to begin her search.

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Well, I'm not as pleased with this. It could've been better than I made it, but it needed closure. I hope you like it better than I do. -Crow


End file.
